Tonight I decided that it would be fun to convince my wife that her fingers were webbed. I started by complimenting her on how nice her beautiful webbing felt between my fingers. I kept rubbing in between her thumb and first, and all between the rest of her fingers. It was freaking her out a little bit. She was even arguing with me that she definitely did not have webbed fingers.

She finally jerked her hand from me and yelled, “You’ve got problems!”

“I know!” I cried, “I can’t swim as fast as you!”

This might be my first night on the couch.

Disclaimer: My wife would like for me to make it clear that her fingers are not webbed.